Star Wars Episode I: The Pathetic Movie

'SUP, NERDS?!

Every nerd I've encountered is shocked that I haven't watched the Star Wars films. I made a deal with a friend to endure these films not only as friendship exercise, but as a way to expand my horizons. Today marks the first entry chronicling an outsider's first Star Wars experience.

Why I haven't watched Star Wars

I would be totally open to a watching
Star Wars anime... imagine how
cool the art would be!

Okay, I've seen Episode IV, but it was forced upon me as a film class assignment. It was actually quite enjoyable and I appreciate its cultural significance & historical film value. However, it did not burn this innate desire for me to continue watching the saga.

Aside from Star Wars not being my cup of tea, I don't appreciate being called a "Japanophile" (this is just one, nicer name I've been called) just because I like anime. These insults came from my peers growing up and by middle-aged men who perpetually jack off to Star Wars, Star Trek and D&D... That certainly disinterested me from ever wanting to delve into the Holy Grail of American nerd-culture. Pissy fans turn me off of lots of media.

The Good

I'm very well aware that George Lucas received a lot of flack for the prequel trilogy, so my expectations were set very low for Episode I. It was surprisingly much better than I imagined.

Pickin' up dem queens like a boss-ass bitch.

Young Anakin is the highlight of the film. I totally felt for him and his mother, hoping they would both be freed from slavery. The pod-race is definitely the most interesting part of the movie-- I like the Wacky Races vibe from it. I'm curious to see where Padme and Anakin's relationship goes as well, because there is quite a bit of uncomfortable sexual tension from these children (er, I guess Padme is a teen).

Padme/Queen Amidala is pretty cool. I really dig the concept of a "warrior princess" and liked that she was a part of the action. Not to mention, I love her costume design. Although she was disguised for a good portion of the film, all of the queen's clothing is intricate and amazing. I've only seen a few brave enough to cosplay Amidala and they do a phenomenal job, especially styling their wigs.

Her outfits are so beautiful... This is one part of the prequel
trilogy they definitely did right!

As an outsider, I'm quite confused because I've never heard of Qui-Gon Jinn until I watched Episode I. In my humble opinion, I dub him the "hot" Jedi. I'm in the vast minority because apparently everyone likes Ewan McGregor as double rat-tailed young Obi-Wan. Gross.

The Bad

Given that this was filmed in the 90s, the computer graphics are pretty basic. I don't want to rag on the film for being too sterile or fake-looking, but I'm disappointed that nearly everything is created from CGI. I absolutely adore practical effects, which is probably what I like about Episode IV the most.

Aside from all of the aliens and settings pulled directly from the uncanny valley, the story is super boring... I don't feel like I was given much reason to care about the trade embargo, the politics and the universe these events affect. Just lots of talking... it felt like a loop of repeating the same information in slightly different ways which built up to a few minutes of Darth Maul being evil... then dying.

I thought Darth Maul was in the other films because he seemed so hyped by fans. The poor sucker barely got any screen time. One last comment, which is a trivial complaint: Why kill off Qui-Gon Jinn???? He was the cool Jedi... so we lost two of the most interesting characters in what is claimed to be the worst Star Wars film.

The Ugly

Who thought Jar Jar was a good idea?

IN CONCLUSION

Episode I is pretty cringy... it doesn't know what it wants to be. It seems like it is a children's movie for one moment with some fart jokes but them it delves into the senate with politicians discussing something a child won't understand until they're 30 and have an opinion as to how their taxes are spent.

Tune in next week with my thoughts about Episode II.

LATER, DWEEBS!

Loverly Liz

"Mary and the Witch's Flower" Thoughts

'SUP, NERDS?!

I've been living in the movie theatre, hitting up every Fathom Event that could possibly exist during the month of January. Although I'm only now starting to feel some film fatigue, I had to see Mary and the Witch's Flower on the big screen, making it my 4th visit to Regal in a week.

Mary is Studio Ponoc's debut film. Studio Ghibli hasn't produced any animated films since 2014, which incited the formation of Ponoc by young ex-Ghibli employees. It wasn't until recently that I've noticed Ghibli's neglect to release something new. At least in America, I've also noticed a huge push in merchandise and special showings of fan-favorite Miyazaki films.

Perhaps Ghibli is spending their sweet time to plan an amusement park? Who knows. I'm glad Ponoc is continuing the legacy and bringing us more quality entertainment.

Can we throw a little love towards Porco Rosso??
It seems to be often forgotten by Ghibli fans...

Frankenfilm

My general impression of Mary and the Witch's Flower is that Studio Ponoc took many aspects from a bunch of amazing movies and mooshed it into one. They certainly brought a lot of Studio Ghibli with them, looking at the character and background designs.

They took elements of Kiki's Delivery Service, Castle in the Sky and Howl's Moving Castle but turned it into Harry Potter. I don't think this necessarily means there is a lack of originality, but I like to think of Mary as Ponoc's own form of cultural assimilation. I do have expectations that their next film will be a little bit more of their own.

A Rarity

What I really liked about Mary is that the entire piece is well-balanced in various ways. As a firm believer in traditional, hand-drawn animation, Mary was able to create an illusion that the entire movie was hand-drawn.

There are a handful of effects that I could distinguish as computer graphics, but it didn't distract or look out of place. There were probably a dozen more bits that I didn't even catch, but the gratuitous use of or poor quality computer graphics certainly can ruin an animated picture.

Technically a Children's Movie...

I was a bit skeptical going into Mary because it was heavily advertised as a children's movie. The thought of kids crawling everywhere around me as I watch a cartoon is horrific! Luckily, there was only one family and their children were more amusing than anything. It was great to see one kid telling their weeb parents, "Mama, I'm getting tired. Can I go to bed?" and the other, "Is this real?" during a dark scene, proceeding to sob.

If I recall correctly, it was during this scene that kid started crying...

If you want a plot summary, I'm not going to bother. You have Google. As a children's movie Mary is equally fun to watch as an adult. Usually children's movies feel very preachy and their messages are forced, but I think Mary's messages were subtle and quite agreeable.

The Messages

I sat after the credits to watch the studio's commentary and it's like we read each other's mind. Ponoc states that their main goal was to create an antagonist that isn't inherently evil, someone with a different perspective that didn't match Mary's. Madame Mumblechook and Dr. Dee never express any sort of bad intent and are simply focused on creating a better magic college with this rare flower. Perhaps the power of the witch's flower twisted their hearts as they obsessed over it for many years, but their goals always remain clear.

On a related note, I'm really glad she ended up saving a boy...
I like to call them "handsome in distress"

Mary overcomes her low self-esteem as she acquires temporary magical powers from the flower. Early in the film, she consistently rags on how she has no discernible talent and how awful her hair is. We get to see Mary's confidence grow and ego swell as she is deemed "prodigious witch" by the college.

As she realizes her magic is temporary, Mary waits for the right opportunity to use it and relies on her human sensibilities to persevere. I think the film portrays a message that you can be great by trusting your instinct and own abilities.

Worth It

Even though most adults would be turned off by an animated children's movie and many anime fans criticize it for being too similar to Studio Ghibli's films, Mary and the Witch's Flower is worth your time. Never did it feel childish or immature, the story is solid and the characters all have interesting personalities and clear motives. It's a beautiful animated film in en era where "animated" means CGI by default.

Mary beckons you to watch her film!

My only complaints come down to weird weeaboo issues I have. The story is based off of Mary Stewart's children's novel The Little Broomstick. Studio Ponoc kept the setting in England like the novel, however I felt there were a few interactions between the characters that I felt were more culturally Japanese than English-- a minor claim that's not worth debating.

Have any of you gotten around to watching Mary and the Witch's Flower? Do you feel it's too similar to any Ghibli films? Any particular characters you love or hate?

LATER, DWEEBS!

Loverly Liz

Tommy Wiseau Mania

OH HAI, NERDS!

With the release of The Disaster Artist, Tommy Wiseau and The Room have been the center of mainstream Hollywood discussion. I've been waiting a couple years for The Disaster Artist to release, giddy with excitement the moment I heard the Francos and Seth Rogan would be involved.

Can you tell the difference? ;-)

I had a wonderful opportunity to see both films recently n the theatre, which is a totally different experience than I ever would have had at home.

Far from an actual Disaster

The Disaster Artist is damn hilarious. I went with one of my buddies who is loves The Room and can recite pretty much the entire film. We seriously both lost our shit.

I rarely watch something and have a physical reaction to what I see on the screen. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is the first movie that made me rock in my chair, giggle and hoot throughout the entire duration of the film... The Disaster Artist not only gave me a similar reaction, but I woke up the next morning with cramps.

James Franco makes a better Tommy Wiseau than Tommy Wiseau himself. The characterization of Tommy and Greg is definitely dramatic and poking fun of both of these real people, but I feel that The Room is celebrated and honored despite all of the goofs and gaffs.

Although Tommy says that 99.9% of the movie is true, we'll never know exactly what happened while The Room was filmed... but I'm glad that Tommy and Greg were such good sports about The Disaster Artist, which is definitely helping popularize them out of cult-status.

Seeing it on the Big Screen

A young man "cosplayed" Johnny and I
lost my mind. I guess it was his football?

I've always wanted to see The Room with an audience. Yeah, I've watched it a million times with my friends throughout college, getting rowdy and making drinking games of it. And holy crap. I seriously didn't expect anyone to actually bring spoons to the theatre.

I brought an innocent victim a friend who has never seen The Room before, stating to him that it's "the best drama you'll ever watch." I certainly didn't "trick" him into joining me, but I couldn't tell if I put him through the most miserable or most mystical experience of his life.

At the theatre, I saw someone dress up just like Johnny, people shared spoons for tossing and someone even brought a football and threw it whenever the on-screen boys played catch. I had the honor of throwing the ball during the credits, nearly knocking the popcorn out of a quiet couple's lap.

My reaction to the film wasn't as violent as seeing The Disaster Artist, but I was laughing nearly the entire time, peaking over to see my friend's reaction. I felt the need to shield his poor eyes during the sex scenes and hold his hands during peak drama. He really needed my support.

The Boys Live On...

My friend and I had a pretty deep discussion about The Room after his first viewing and we mutually agreed that it was overall a straightforward film. However, neither of us can pin the location or  setting of the movie... Do any of you have an actual clue?

Anyway, Wiseau and Sestero released a film titled Best F(r)iends last year that's going to hit mainstream theatres with limited showings soon. Do you plan to see this two-parter? I heard a little bit about this movie before, but I'm definitely plan to see provided a local theatre is running it!

O BYE, NERDS!

Loverly Liz