Sunday, May 27, 2018

"N Captain, My Captain" by Malcolm Terzich


Kevin Keene is not exactly a household name these days. Actually, it’s rather niche and obscure. If you were to go to any random gaming convention and ask your average cosplayer who Captain N is, the odds of them giving a correct answer is between slim and not at all. So how does someone end up embarrassing himself in front of a live audience after deciding to embody a character hardly anyone knows?



To start out, I should probably explain who exactly is Captain N. Back in the day there was a widely popular gaming magazine called Nintendo Power that filled buyers in on upcoming products, gave tips and tricks and even had some fun entertainment content added in there.

One of those goofy things was an attempt by Randy Studdard to give Nintendo a new fictional spokesman known as Captain Nintendo. Shortly after launched a TV series (1989) by DIC Entertainment and a comic book run (1990) by Valiant Comics called Captain N: The Game Master. The premise involved a kid, Kevin Keene, who was sucked into Videoland to team up with your favorite Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) characters and his elite gaming skills to prevent the forces of Mother Brain from seizing control.





I wouldn’t even be born until just after the show’s run was over, but I grew up on the reruns and saw Kevin in my parent’s old Nintendo Powers. Despite missing the NES era, my parents had everything from the launch of both the system and the magazine. I probably ended up playing more from that generation than the ones that actually launched during my youth. Due to this, I grew quite fond of a character that none of my contemporaries even new.

Flash forward nearly two decades and I find myself at the ScrewAttack Gaming Convention. I hadn’t done any cosplay since high school, but I’ve become a regular attendee to SGC. Up to that point, I have never cosplayed at a convention. I made some costumes for some Halloweens and other personal events. I’ve worn Link many of times when I was young due to my vibrant blonde hair and small stature. Plus, the character is just downright awesome. Still, conventions seemed to be where cosplay was encouraged the most and for some reason, I just wasn’t participating.

And then I started. I wasn’t exactly in a rush to cosplay again. I tend to be methodical about whatever I do in life. My original plan was to make a few outfits before wearing any. I have never, and still never, planned anything professional, though I’m somewhat of a perfectionist and play just as hard as I work. I wanted a different costume for each day so I could change my clothes. I was going to make a new Link outfit (A Link to the Past), Cloud Strife (Advent Children) and Captain N. Then, like pretty much any plan I ever make, things changed.


Literally weeks after I started planning out costumes again, ScrewAttack put up a video called The Best Video Game Cartoon EVER! where Stuttering Craig basically told people to cosplay as Kevin Keene. Even my brother said, “F&@# your dumb plan, you’re Captain N -this- year.” At this point, I couldn’t exactly say no.

It was a fairly easy cosplay to make, yet I won’t lie… it hurt a bit inside to strip the NES Zapper and controller down for props regardless of being inoperable. It was almost sinful, but nothing else would cut it. I wanted that authentic feel. I’m still upset that on such short notice I couldn’t get myself a real letterman to put an N patch on, though the jacket I ended up with had more of a cartoon aesthetic anyhow.


We finally roll up into SGC and… like I thought, almost no one knew who I was. There were a couple, but they were either SA staff or my friends from the community. Several people actually thought I was a Pokemon Trainer. I’d sarcastically reply, “Yeah, I’m sort of a Master.” It was pretty exciting when Andre Meadows (Black Nerd Comedy) asked me for a photo. Usually, it is the other way around with people of any notoriety.

On the last day of the convention, I eventually ran into Craig. He had promised a hug to anyone cosplaying Captain N. Somehow instead I ended up as labor. As soon as I see him, he turns and asks, “Hey, could you lend a hand for a minute?” He needed help unloading boxes and stuff from his car for the game show he was running later that day. I’m never one to turn down helping someone when I can, so I rustled up my group and we hauled it all backstage. Little did I know that this wouldn’t be the extent of my participation with the said game show.



Later, as we stood in line, Craig and Bryan come walking up to me dressed to the nines in white suites. They asked a lot of questions about where I was from and what my favorite game was. It was at this point that I put two and two together: I’m gonna be on Stuttering Craigs Game Show of Awesomeness.

The entire experience was a mess from the moment I was called up on stage. First thing first, Craig was exhausted from running around all weekend so I don’t blame him, but I had to correct him on an important matter. It went something like:


Craig: “Kevin Belmont is one of my favorite characters”

Me: “You mean Kevin Keene.”

Craig: “Are you sure that his name?”

Me: “Well, it’s been a few days since I binged the show again in preparation.”


Next came the question. You know, like how in Let’s Make a Deal there is that easy bit first before the deal comes up. I thought it was an easy question up until I heard the audience boo my answer in unison. The question: What was the first game to feature the classic Konami Code?

In retrospect, I could see the confusion. The code is often referred to as the Contra Code and Contra was one of the multiple choice answers. Well, it was a good thing I was picked instead of most of that audience. Luckily for me, I was an avid viewer of G4TV and on one of the shows, likely Icons, they revealed the history of the Konami Code. The correct answer was Gradius. Everyone instantly grew silent when I was correct; it was like they questioned everything they knew.

Remember how I said earlier that I embarrassed myself in front of a live audience? Being the arrogant man I am, I, of course, took the challenge after correctly answering my question. To go with the question itself, I had to beat the first level of Contra with only three lives. Genuinely easy for any avid gamer, but I blew it after more than one second shot. I hadn’t touched the game in almost a decade by then and I’m always used to doing stupid things like “get to the stage boss without killing any of the minions.” I completely forgot to shoot most of the time in a game when there is never a reason to not be shooting.

In the end, I dropped the ball. I got a nice consolation prize pack out of it though: A couple t-shirts (one not even available anymore at the time) and some ScrewAttack DVD collections. I’ve worn the costume a few times since, but I haven’t really updated it or done any other cosplay since. I don’t even really go to conventions like I used to. But I’m glad I decided to be Kevin Keene for that day.




Malcolm Terzich is a writer, researcher, and adventurer who is passionate about science, history and literature. He is also the creator of Ex Dynamis Chaos, which wraps up neatly all those interests into a world a madness and those who tame it.

You can find him on FaceBook and on Twitter @immadametal.

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