Adoring both the wholesome and unwholesome bits of "Rocketman"

'SUP, NERDS?!

HOLY MOLY, there were a ton of awesome movies I unfortunately missed in May due to prepping for ACen. Once I readjusted to home life and resumed normal activities, I made a point to go see Rocketman this weekend– a movie I’ve been pretty excited for.

A lot of my friends see this movie as just another music biopic, however I enjoyed it much more than Bohemian Rhapsody and what I managed to get through from The Dirt. Although this recent surge is fatiguing movie viewers quicker than superhero films, I appreciate the messages and Elton John’s involvement in Rocketman.

I did enjoy these movies, but they are unintentionally cheesy.

Why I like Rocketman more

I regret not blogging about A Star is Born & Bohemian Rhapsody when they came out, because my perspective of both of these movies NOW have been tainted by the mass Hollywood circle jerk of unworthy award nominations. These movies aren't bad per say, but nothing truly special that I think should’ve been applauded as they were. This is in indicator that the Academy is leaning towards featuring more blockbusters or that there simply weren’t many good movies last year. Unfortunately this is a subject I would need to tackle another day.


All of the major music/music industry movies in the last year or so are definitely classified as dramas, but I love that Rocketman takes on a musical format. I didn't expect the song and dance numbers, but I think it fits well with Elton John's personality. At first I didn't enjoy the musical segments, mostly because (as a natural starting point) the story begins with Elton's childhood.

The parts with children are a bit... cringy. Something about child acting turns me off and I thought the rest of the movie would go downhill. By the end, I appreciate how they interpreted Elton's childhood because (like everyone else) he was definitely influenced yet also screwed up by his parents.

BUT. (yes a big but) I don't think his parents were demonized. Nor was Elton victimized at any point of the movie. Even though Elton produced and obviously had some involvement in his biopic, he remained very humble and admitted to his struggles and mistakes.

Haunted by Homosexuality

I really didn't know much about Elton John aside from my mother's fandom (she wore out his LP's back in the day), The Lion King, his greatest hits and that he's gay. My boyfriend expressed a sentiment before the movie started along the lines of, "Oh, I really hope they don't brush off the lyricist. Elton only composed and performed the songs." I hadn't a clue about his music-making process prior to the film.

I feel so fuzzy knowing they're still friends and collaborators.

The movie heavily focuses on Elton's relationship with Bernie Taupin, which tickled me with plenty bromantic moments: There's a point where Elton splits with his girlfriend and gets kicked out of their apartment. Bernie consoles Elton and expresses how much he loves his friend... and Elton goes in for a kiss, taking the situation the wrong way. It was a cute part, but I was so sad to how everyone else reacted to his sexuality.

Growing up, I've had many friends come out to me in private and my reaction was always along the lines of "Oh, yeah. I know." and we share a good moment. My heart shattered when Elton told his own mother and she is unsurprised, but chillingly tells him that he will live a lonely life. What a way to love and support your kid. Even worse, finding out he married a woman as a cover in order to be socially acceptable is damaging to both parties. Being gay seemed to make Elton feel ashamed and trapped prior to publicly coming out.

The Drug part of "Sex, Drugs and Rock N Roll"

As Elton continues to grow as an artist, he delves deeper into drugs and alcohol (to no surprise) like many musicians. I appreciate that Elton really embraces substance abuse as really the greatest of all his problems when he was younger. In Rocketman he admits to totally sucking at maintaining interpersonal relationships and these substances breaks his body and spirit.

This resonated with me because I feel like drugs and alcohol are affecting a lot of people I know. I'm all for free choice in this world–like, it's dumb that weed isn't federally legal. But I think developing a habit or dependency (whether it's a mental or physical dependency) can make anyone the worst version of themselves. Whether you're taking something regularly over-the-counter or growing something, er, natural in your backyard, I've noticed people obsess and be overcome by their addiction.

I don't mean to sound like an after-school special, but I'm so done with this toxic culture and want my friends (but honestly anyone for that matter) to get a push in the right direction and get help finding an alternative, more positive way to combat their mental or physical illnesses. What I'm writing is to not target anyone in particular, but I want you to know that it really hurts to see you sad or suffering. I love you. <3

I'm even so in love with Elton's
"casual" outfits.

Other Comments About the Movie

Overall, Rocketman was (no pun intended) a blast! I think from a production standpoint, the cast and crew did an incredible job. Taron Egerton was an excellent choice to play Elton and he actually sang each song. I felt like I learned a lot about Elton, but nothing was too preachy and the story demonstrated that he was at fault for plenty of his mistakes.

Of course I loved the costume designs, which scarily look like what Elton wore back in the day. The flair for fantasy and drama made this an overall emotionally captivating film for me. Although I knew hardly a thing about the artist, I was dancing a bit in my chair, hearing songs echoed from my own childhood when my mother learnt how to care for CDs!

If anyone needs help with substance abuse, I highly urge you to tell a trustworthy friend and reach out to the SAMHSA hotline. You can reach them at (800) 662-HELP.

LATER, DWEEBS!

Loverly Liz

Sending My Love to Atelier Heidi

Hello friends & fellow nerds,

Normally this blog is reserved for good old fashioned geeky fun, but I wanted to share a few thoughts on the latest drama from my internet social circles. No, as much as I would like to giggle about Ethan Klein and Trisha Paytas throwing each other major shade, I would like to address a situation in the video gaming and cosplay world.

I don’t think it is normal for one of my dearest friends to message me first thing in the morning, “Did you see the ProJared news?”

My response was something along the lines of “uuuuhhhh, I’m running behind and need to drive to work.” Little did I know I would find myself impassioned enough to write about ProJared cheating on his wife, Atelier Heidi, after I’ve returned home.

Although I’m nowhere close to being involved in the situation, I feel a lot of personal attachment to both of these figures. My friends and I have followed Jared Knabenbauer and even met him on multiple occasions over the past 10 years. We've known him since his humble days working with ScrewAttack and managing now what seems to feel like an ancient relic, the GameAttack store.

I would be a big fat liar if I said I didn't have a crush on Jared in high school. I spent countless hours following his old Justin.tv account and teasing him on social media. When he made his relationship with Heidi public… oof— I was so jealous that some hot babe swooped in on an unattainable internet crush!

However my trauma was quickly mitigated when I discovered how amazing Heidi is. Having deep interests in both video gaming AND cosplay, I fangirled over Jared for a period and developed an even greater love for Heidi. Over time, I felt Jared became too cocky and I’ve been invested in Heidi’s projects, graced by her presence at conventions I've attended.

A thought occurred to me a few months ago as Heidi discussed her depression and art slump on Twitter. Noticing this thread, I’ve asked my peers, “Why can’t people who have everything just be happy?” in reference to Heidi’s tweets. Under the belief that she has EVERYTHING (which to me includes but is not limited to: an awesome portfolio, growing talents, a lovely home, financial security while pursuing an art career and a super cool husband), my impressions were wrong because she spent the last year silently suffering an awful relationship.

No matter who you adore, remember they’re people with problems too. Reading more into Heidi’s situation, Jared was controlling and iced her out with no explanation. I’m unsurprised that he had an affair with Holly Conrad, which is disappointing considering they were all great friends at one point.

Tldr; I’m furious. Jared disrespected someone who deserves no better than the best. There’s zero chance that Heidi would read this herself, but I want her to know that I’m rooting for her. I’m glad she’s done with Jared who externalized his own problems by hurting his wife. I just don’t understand why someone with so much “e-fame” continued to solicit unsavory attention from fans when he had such an awesome partner. Hopefully he can sort out his issues, not hurting himself or any others.

Heidi O’Ferrall is someone worth admiring. Continue to kick ass. I wish you the best as you pick your feet back up. Sending all my love,

Loverly Liz

The Beach Bum

'SUP, NERDS?!

2018 was a phenomenal year for film. No, we're not talking about all of these lackluster movies that won a bunch of Oscars, it was a year where I was in the theatre almost every week for some sort of anniversary event, animation or indie film. Yes, I did see mainstream movies (e.g. A Star is Born & Bohemian Rhapsody) due to genuine interest, but I never considered any of them to be award-winning.

So far this year, I've only seen one of my favorite movies EVER, Dirty Dancing which is a blog for another day. Dude. I've been so antsy to see something new and took my boyfriend out to see The Beach Bum.

The Appeal

Based upon the films I discussed, why would I choose The Beach Bum of all things? The names in the movie sparked my attention. You wouldn't peg me as the type of person to go watch a stoner movie, but I find filthy funny films to be some of my favorite comedies. I'm first to go watch anything by Apatow Productions, Point Grey Pictures and similar producers.

I've been wanting a functioning typewriter for a few years now... so envious of Moondog.

The Beach Bum is about a poet named Moondog who casually spends his days in the Florida Keys. During this bout of debauchery, his wife Minnie asks him to return home for their daughter's wedding. He drives a dinky motorboat their home "up north", docking it at their mansion in Miami.

After the wedding, Moondog and Minnie spend some time catching up between their other lovers and flings. However they end up in an accident resulting in Minnie's sudden death. In Minnie's will, she splits the estate and her money between Moondog and their daughter. It does come with a stipulation: Moondog needs to finish his next novel in order to obtain his share. This is her way to force her brilliant, not-so-brilliant husband to reach his artistic potential.

Style

Zac Effron epitomizing
the concept of being "extra".

The story feels very seamless and doesn't need any hard transitions to tell Moondog's story. Much like the person he is, the acts don't feel segmented and goes with the flow. There doesn't have to be a straightforward reason as to what he does next.

Something I always notice in movies is costume design. Moondog's attire is on point. As a true beach bum, he's half-naked and brightly patterned. From the homeless, wealthy or rehabilitated junkies, they each have a special spark in their outfits which shouts their personalities and lifestyles.

The soundtrack consists of an array of r&b tracks. Snoop Dog plays a singer/rapper with a penchant for Jamaican weed (is he really playing a character??) and Jimmy Buffett makes a fitting cameo appearance. The original score is very light, conveying Moondog's true inner workings. Even though he's caught in a spiral of legal trouble, the music is lifting and made me almost forget about Moondog's problems.

A Mini Vaca

I think The Beach Bum is the movie I need right now. Recently I've been the most busy in my life and I've been overdue for an actual vacation for over a year now. With little time for myself, just sitting in a theatre for two hours for me was an excellent idea.

I don't necessarily want to live like Moondog in the sense he's running a constant high and living homeless on the beach, but I want quiet time. The Beach Bum reminds me of Henry David Thoreau and Walden Pond. My heart desires time to run away from society and work on my art for a designated time and invest in myself. Often I find myself daydreaming at my job as I pretend to live someplace remote.

Enjoying Florida

My boyfriend took me to St. Petersburg
for a date day a couple months ago
and my roommate and I went to Disney for a single day.
I've otherwise had zero Florida exposure.

One of my greatest internal conflicts is not enjoying my time in Florida for what it is. I've barely traveled the state and seek adventure. I haven't had a chance to explore Tampa, Orlando or Miami. I would love to visit the Keys. Hell, I have never gone to any of the local beaches. The only time I've visited the beaches is after a long day of work, dipping my toes into the sand and stargazing shortly before the beach closes. It sucks because I'm trapped at work and also so pale that I'm inclined to avoid the sun no matter my geographical location.



The Beach Bum is fun and served the purpose of allowing me to live a two hour vacation. The movie was practically filmed in my back yard, but it was still an escape. I don't think everyone will enjoy it, but Matthew McConaughey plays a most excellent eccentric bum. I would suggest catching the movie if you need something both silly and chill to help mellow your stressful day.

LATER, DWEEBS!

Loverly Liz

A "Monster" Page-turner

'SUP, NERDS?!

For once in my life, I think I've caught up reading my manga and I'm seeking new stories to purchase and fill my shelves. But one particular series that recently blew me away is Naoki Urasawa's epic, Monster. A few years ago, VIZ re-released the series in an economical 2-in-1 "perfect" edition that I collected only read in recent months. I've always wanted to take a stab at an Urasawa manga and eyed Monster when it was originally published. I couldn't have picked a better place to start.

Monster earned itself a coveted place on my "fancy" bookshelf.

What is Monster?

Monster is a crime-thriller revolving around a Japanese surgeon (Kenzo Tenma) working in Germany who makes the mistake to save a child rushed to the ER. A mistake saving a small boy's life?? Amidst messy politics, Dr. Tenma resolves to save every person he can, in order to respect all walks of life. The board running the hospital frowns upon Tenma's decision to operate on a no-name kid over the mayor of Duesseldorf. Just a few murders later (ones that point towards our protagonist), Tenma's chances to advance his career are put to a halt.

Tenma before he becomes a hardened criminal.

Tenma continues to work for years to come until stronger evidence arises to convict him for the accusations of killing his fellow surgeons while other similar murders happen in the present time. Actually innocent of crime, Tenma sets out to find the person orchestrating these murders and becomes wanted across Germany. Everything begins and continues with the child he saved years ago, Johan Liebert and his twin sister.

This is how to write characters

The series is quite long and I don't want to spoil anything critical, but I would rather go into what makes Monster awesome. I wouldn't consider myself a huge fan of long manga serializations and often scoff at the shounen & seinen genres. However, Urasawa intricately weaves tons of characters and allows them to shine.

With Tenma as the protagonist, there will be times where you won't see him for chapters and the focus adjusts. An aspect of BIG shounen/seinen manga I dislike is the continuous circle-jerk of a lame protagonist. Tenma is sought by the authorities and antagonists alike, but the side characters have more problems to worry about that aren't necessarily all about Tenma (the exception to this being Eva Heineman, his insane ex-fiance).

Inspector Lunge never loses focus on his target.

I don't have any reasons to be annoyed to a point of disliking Tenma, but I felt more charmed by allies and investigators. Richard Braun is one of my favorite characters who has an entire arc dedicated to him working on a private investigation, which of course links with Johan. He has no relation to Tenma but some acquaintances. His arc reveals a great deal of information about Johan's motivations and Tenma's innocence. I felt incredibly gripped to Braun's personal struggles and he added purpose to the story, despite his eventual, sad death.

Eva Heineman is a wonderful example of how a character should grow and change. She was engaged to Tenma and holds a grudge against him once her father (a hospital chairman) is murdered early in the series. Subsequently her and Tenma's relationship ends. During the unseen years of the story, Eva marries & divorces multiple times, falling into a spiral where alcohol and money control, or rather ruin, her life.

Being the closest person to Tenma during the initial murders, Eva has large amounts of evidence and information about him that authorities and antagonists want. She uses this bygone relationship as a way to manipulate men around her while she harbors back-and-forth feelings of both missing and hating her relationship with Tenma.

Eva is absolutely wicked from the start.

As she holds proof of Tenma’s innocence and eventually comes to the realization that they can’t return to the good ole days, Eva learns how to respect herself and other men. Eva starts to see the good in a man who (like most characters) has an unfortunate fate to die. Her obsession with Tenma does come to a bittersweet end.

A commonality between characters is that most of them have an obsession or addiction. I appreciate the reality that many characters have a good cause (primarily the goal to solve and end the murders) but their lives catastrophically suffer in all other respects. Aside from Tenma becoming a convict and forced to run an hide for years, BKA Inspector Lunge is one of the most captivating players because of his obsession to investigate and hunt Tenma.

Lunge goes as far to compromise his health, marriage, ties with his daughter & grandbaby and even his career with the BKA to arrest Tenma. I even chucked at his disparate attempt to "take a break" from the investigation when he "vacations" to Prague in order to keep up with the mystery. Poor fella thinks ordering a beer while not-so-subtly discovering information about Johan outside of Germany is considered to be time off of work.

Style

A complaint I hear from the average person is that every Japanimation is about Japanese high schoolers. Yet, we see masterpieces like Monster that shake up the stereotypical anime/manga setting and focus on Westerners. I think Urasawa's choice to make the protagonist Japanese makes the series more relateable to the target demographic being the Japanese market at the time of serialization. Aside from a few smol chapters with single-use characters, the entire narrative is focused on Europeans.

Johan exemplifying the darkness of the Monster inside him.

Urasawa did an excellent job creating uniquely Western, non-hyper-anime looking people. The rare and few Asian characters looked sensibly different. I'm deeply in love with Germany and had a chance to go on a month-long exchange trip to South Germany when I was in high school. Urasawa and his team did an excellent job researching and recreating cities, suburbs and the countryside. I squeed a bit whenever there were scenes in Heidelberg and the University because that's where I spent most of my time. I can't attest to how similar the Czech Republic & Prague looks to real life, but I trust they did a proper portrayal of the country.

Writing constant suspense, Urasawa made me feel like I was watching an old fashion detective movie. His use of darkness & black pages combined with framing the panels much like a video camera would record a shot tickled my inner film noir part of my soul. There were parts where I couldn't flip to the next page fast enough to having to set the book down and take an emotional break because of the intensity.

Conclusionary Thoughts

Although Monster is a bit of a long series and deals with heavy subjects, I think it is a very friendly series for people who aren't into anime or manga to get into. Given the chapters are designed similarly to the beats of a high quality murder mystery television program and takes place in a more  familiar Western setting, I would suggest this to anyone who is looking for good drama and a little bit of eustress in their reading. I'm seriously not joking when I said I had to put the book down sometimes.

For those who actually read or watched Monster, who are your favorite characters and why? Do you also think the way the series ended was very fair? It certainly left me uncomfortable... and the unease and suspense begins again!

As I said at the start, I've caught up reading sooooo much manga. I would deeply appreciate recommendations to read and discuss. I'm also selling a lot of manga I feel I've outgrown or dislike more than others, so feel free to contact me if you're interested in seeing my wares.

Hopefully I'll be hitting everyone with a cosplay blog again soon. I'm working on a few outfits I began LAST March and have means to finally finish them. Here's to another epic convention and cosplay season!

LATER, DWEEBS!

Loverly Liz

Persona Dancing

'SUP, NERDS?!

Oh, why yes hello! It's been a while and I've had some time to experience life after the holiday season. During my blogging absence I made a point to read novels, practice piano and get caught up on photography projects. I've been wanting to practice bass guitar, but by the time I'm home and deep into these activities I'm just too tired to work on another instrument. I swear, I'll get to it soon.

In addition to trying to be a more well-rounded and happy person, I'm in early stages of sewing new cosplay and I've recorded a slew of episodes for two podcasts I'm hosting. I'm trying to have plenty of episodes to upload in the event I'm busy for a week or two.

Enough about me, let's talk about the Persona Dancing series. You're here to hear me blab about that.

Rhythm Nut

I wouldn't call myself a music aficionado, but I'm deeply invested in rhythm games.To best describe my gaming tastes, I look for a combination of retro, horror, eclectic/weird titles, not-shitty RPGs, choice driven games and of course rhythm games. This all started with begging my mother for quarters to play DDR at the movie theatre as a kid and to most recently haggling a neckbeard for a complete in box copy of Taiko Master on PS2 for $5.

Without repeating myself much, you should all know I'm obsessed with Megami Tensei games and the Persona series. You shouldn't be surprised given my interests, but I went through a Project Diva phase when the Hatsune Miku games came to the PS3. I almost dropped a few hundies on acquiring a Project Diva arcade controller, but the thought occurred that having food to eat during my poor college days was much better.

After Persona 4 Golden released and Atlus announced more sequels and spin-offs, Persona 4 Dancing All Night boldly mentioned the inclusion of staff who worked on the Project Diva games. As a fan of both series, this was a dream I didn't even know could come true.

Persona 4 Dancing All Night

Upon pre-ordering the "Endless Night" combo pack that contains the P3D & P5D discs, I didn't realize it came with a downloadable copy of P4D on the PS4 until I received my copy. This gave me the opportunity to revisit a game I haven't played for three years.

A lot of fans viewed P4D as merely a cash in on Golden's success, but I found the game to be just as good, but more challenging than any of the Miku games. The directional buttons mirror and function the same as the right hand buttons on a PS controller in Miku whereas Persona Dancing distinguishes the d-pad and right handed buttons as different notes.

As a testament to how much I enjoy the P4D playlist, I listen to the soundtrack on a regular basis and I've shared it with a countless number of people who don't play video games or know what Persona is. P4D has a groovy disco vibe, a genre I sort of hate admitting to enjoy.

My favorite song has to be "Time to Make History", but more specifically the Akira Yamaoka remix. For some reason, I find it hilarious to dress Kanji only in his swim briefs to dance to this song (and I'm so glad others share the same sentiment). This particular remix is very intense and really epitomizes the rhythm game genre when it comes to a healthy mix of fun and challenge.

The only negative which is specific to P4D is the godawful, unnecessary story mode. I just want to play the game and I have no care or need to know why our protagonists suddenly have an urge to dance. However I think Kanamin is a cute character who I would in fact would love to cosplay one day. Aside from her and Rise's idol designs, there's nothing good to come of story mode but hours of pointless composition and zero challenge.

Persona 3 Dancing In Moonlight & Persona 5 Dancing in Starlight

I felt naturally inclined to play P3D before delving into 5. The biggest change between P4D and the new games is the removal of a story mode. P3/5D focuses on individual characters and a progression in their growth as dancers. For example, you need to wear 20 new costumes to unlock one of these segments or rack up a few thousand note streaks for another character. So by playing the game enough you will naturally unlock these storylines.

Overall these segments are more fan service than anything else, but I frequently found myself laughing and occasionally cringing. No, not a good cringe, but the sort of "this hurts because these games are sexualizing teenagers and that's totally not cool." For example, Last Surprise has a really fun burlesque theme to it. However, these are high 👏 school 👏 girls 👏. Gross. Yeah, I love dressing Kanji in his swim trunks because it's hilarious, but intentionally making this song super sexy with minors disturbs me.

The most important part about these games would be the music. It's hard to say which playlist I like more, but P3D has more of a techno/synth vibe that provides a lot of awesome, creative remixes. When people ask why sort of music I like, I often find it hard to answer. Not only do I listen to pretty much everything, but I deeply love synth, chip tune, etc. which I feel like aren't very popular genres.

I'm particularly fond of the "Deep Breath Deep Breath (Yuu Miyake Remix)" because of how awesome the choreography is. I like the nod to Junpei's baseball career and how they incorporated it into his dance style. The one thing about this song is that it hardly resembles the original, but hey, I still like it.

I often found myself giggling during the "Mass Destruction (Tetsuya Kobayashi Remix)" because it makes me think of the music my boyfriend listens to. Cute widdle Ken-kun's so chipper as he dances to a weird mishmosh of rave music combined with high-strung Dark Throne-esque bullshit black metal drumming.

My favorite song to play in P3D would have to be "Time (Atlus Kitajoh Remix)". It's just light and makes me think of fond summer memories... Puts me in a good place.

When it comes to P5D, I would say I like the original game soundtrack more than P3's. P5 has a jazzy and quite sexy soundtrack as is but I don't think the Dancing remixes excited me as much as P3D's remixes. I don't want to say the mixes are bad, but maybe I'm too much of a purist and just prefer the originals.

My favorite song in P5D is "The Days When My Mother Was There (Atlus Kitajoh Remix)", a song I feel is often underrated and forgotten when people talk about the Persona 5 soundtrack. Even though Futaba is my least favorite character in the party, my favorite palace is her's...

I don't think they remixed "Price" at all, but it's a very alluring tune. I enjoy the bassline and the highs to the music itself.

One of my favorite songs from all of Persona 5 is "Rivers in the Desert" and I love the Mito Remix. I get glowstick feels from this mix. I wish it were a little it longer, but it would be really cool to see this tune dropped in a club or rave.

CONCLUSIONS, YES?

I don't have many more comments about these games aside from "omg plz make the vinyls reasonable to obtain." For some reason they only pressed 100 copies of a combined P3/5D vinyl primarily for the press and gaming industry people. It's a shame because most video game vinyl is so overpriced and too few are made. I began collecting vinyl since there's a lot of cheap music, but I've been eyeing video game vinyl for years and it's just never been reasonable enough for me to invest in...

Anyway, if you enjoy the Persona soundtracks at all, I would pick these games up. It's really worth the giggles you can come up with in how you play the game. The difficulty levels are tolerable enough for even beginners to get into.

LATER, DWEEBS!

Loverly Liz

The State of the Blog

'SUP, NERDS?!

I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas. It's been, like, 70 degrees in Florida. Dying to go to the beach, but it has been a tad chilly to go lately.

So, I haven't posted on my blog for a while mostly due to being stressed about life. I used my blog for a while as way to unwind, but lately it just hasn't been fun. For a few months I tried to use it as "an example of my writing" in order to help obtain a job and show the world I am committed to a project. But then it became very work-y and I lost a lot of my energy to write for a while.

I don't want to quit writing, but maybe reformat and do something differently. The past 6 months have been personally challenging and I feel like a lot of my projects had to be set aside to get through more pressing matters such as my home and health.

Although few people actually read these entries, I want to continue to grow and initiate discussion. Please comment any and all topics you're interested in reading about! It always inspires and most definitely motivates me to keep going,

Let's go into the New Year together, each day stronger and better than we were before!

-Lovery Liz

"Hand to God" at The Laboratory Theater of Florida

‘SUP, NERDS?!

Outside of the usual manga, gaming or film blogging routine, it is time now for something completely different. I recently attended a play at The Laboratory Theater of Florida, which greatly resonated with me on many different levels: Hand to God.

HAND TO GOD

Written by Robert Askins, Hand to God is about a tiny youth group that creates puppets to perform skits for church. Pastor Greg asked recently widowed Margery to run it, enlisting her teenage son Jason, his crush Jessica and rowdy Timmy. None of the kids take the group seriously, but Jason harbors a deep attachment to his puppet Tyrone, which he never removes from his hand. As conflict stirs Tyrone speaks more, consuming Jason’s thoughts and controlling his actions. And yes, there is blood.

Conflict

I am straddling a fine line here since don’t want to spoil the contents of the play. It is definitely worth seeing, no matter your religious affiliation. Putting comedy aside, I think Hand to God poses questions about expression in church, an issue every character handles negatively. Nobody knows how to healthily express love or desire while Margery and Jason exclusively mourns the loss of a family member.

A shot of the stage. You wouldn't believe how it looks later.

Pastor Greg and Timmy lust for Margery—both of them inappropriate suitors given their respective statuses as leader and minor. I take it that Timmy comes from a rough upbringing and yearns for a maternal figure. Jason struggles with abandonment, questioning Margery’s love for him and his deceased father.

Aside from family drama, Jason faces the challenges of adolescence and crushes on Jessica. Tyrone becomes his outlet to express things he could never do himself, divulging secrets and devilish thoughts. As Tyrone becomes more vocal, it allows a lot of room for the audience to speculate whether the puppet is possessed or if this unassuming teen has deep-rooted psychological problems.

Personal Anecdotes about Expression

Assuming at least the adults have a genuine faith, I found it interesting that the characters hardly seek help from God let alone someone outside of the conflict. Margery insists Pastor Greg keep quiet than call the police or even other members of the congregation. This proves to be more damaging in the long run.

The lack expression and being unable to convey information reminds me of the time I spent around Christian people during high school and college. This is not to say Christians or other organized religions are bad, but I guess I can somewhat relate to oppression around religious people.

I know that many seek a church for a sense of community, comfort and self-betterment. From firsthand experience, I’ve received plenty of backlash from religious people for simply disagreeing on certain subjects and not fitting their image of what a good, faithful person is.

For years I felt it was easier to just shut up around some Christian people who were very close to me in order reduce conflict. As a result, I snapped last year because my personality was compromised far too long. I felt my own version of Tyrone emerge. But damn, it sure feels good to let him out.

I’ve heard the hushed whispers of controversy within church and youth group, which in retrospect deeply saddens me. Instead of being ostracized as sinners, I really wish people didn't gossip. It frustrates me that the people who needed the most help were sometimes demonized.

THE DEVIL IS IN THE DETAILS

Alright, I know you aren’t here to read about my personal stories, but I do want to applaud the cast at The Laboratory Theater of Florida once more for a wonderful performance. This was my first time at this theatre and I am certainly marking my calendar for their upcoming shows. Anyway a few comments on individual performances:

From L to R: Albertson, Sanders, Tyrone, Coe, Weymouth, Johnson & Director Nykkie Rizley

I adored Steven Coe’s performance as Jason & Tyrone. At the beginning I felt it was difficult to distinguish the differences between the boy and puppet, but it makes sense with how the character changes. Once Tyrone awakened, he became the most powerful person(?) in the room.

There was something about Pastor Greg that tugged at my brain. It was like I somehow knew this person. After the show I spoke with Ken Johnson and wanted to make sure I haven't met him before. His acting was highly convincing and there was something so familiar about his on-stage persona.

Jessica is in my opinion the most likeable character and I couldn’t help but find Sofia Weymouth’s take on her to be so cute. Jessica is sort of a punk take on the girl next door, with attitude and eye rolls galore. I was especially impressed during, er, a very special scene by how Weymouth’s speech transitioned between puppet to Jessica and back again.

I think TJ Albertson and Shelley Sanders mesh well together and had the strongest character dynamic. I was delighted by how the Timmy and Margaret held themselves in front of the youth group versus their private conversations.

GO SEE THIS SHOW

If you couldn’t tell, I thoroughly enjoyed The Laboratory Theater of Florida’s performance of Hand to God. Go buy tickets. If you’re in Southwest Florida and you’ve got a bit of free time the next couple weeks, I urge you to attend. No excuses, click this link.

LATER, DWEEBS!

Loverly Liz

Realizing I'm not a Frank Capra Fan

‘SUP, NERDS?!

I haven’t written about movies recently and well, there’s something finally worth discussing. Upon recently watching Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, I've concluded that I am not a Frank Capra fan.

No disrespect to the man, this is still an awesome movie! However, I certainly don’t jive with Capra’s story direction. You may remember a little blurb about It's a Wonderful Life last Christmas, but after seeing Mr. Smith these feelings I've discussed in the past have only been reinforced.

The Premise

Our lovely protagonists working to pass a bill.

The fantastic Jimmy Stewart stars as Jeff Smith, a seasoned leader of the Boy Rangers, who is appointed to represent in the Senate. Smith is well-loved, good guy who would make for an excellent image in the Senate, but he is selected primarily for his lack of experience in politics, ultimately making him easy to manipulate.

His fellow state senator, Joseph Paine played by Claude Rains, was a good friend of Jeff's father. Buuuuuut, he secretly supports corrupt businessmen despite his good reputation. More importantly though, his daughter is hot. And totally single. (Smith really likes her.)

As Smith begins his new career, his assistant Saunders takes him for a complete fool. It really brings her to question her career, personal life and the American political machine. But Smith's optimism and respect towards women really grows on her...

Although Smith is what us modern folk call a n00b, he proposes to build a new Boy Rangers camp exactly where his political opponents plan to build a money-grubbing dam. The film focuses on Paine and his partners first attempting to trick Smith into supporting the dam to later wreck every aspect of his life as he defends his camp project.

Pacing & Art Direction

The thing with old films is that they are much slower than modern movies. I don't count that against the film, but I love how dialogue driven the movie is. It felt interesting throughout and every scene contributes in some way. Time isn't wasted.

There's a montage prominently listed in the opening credits which I looked forward to seeing. The montage is the only part of the film that feels slowed down as Smith soaks in the monuments of D.C. when he first arrives. It poured patriotism into my heart and demonstrates how much of a good boi Smith is.

I am particularly impressed by the use of sets and scenery. I love that the scenes at the Lincoln Memorial were actually filmed there. There were many pivotal moments in that location. The Senate is an incredible set that gets a lot of miles with interesting angles and feels energetic. I am most fond of the revolving spectators and being able to see reactions from the crowds.

One of my favorite shots is when Smith has a conversation with Paine's daughter. The camera is set on a closeup of Smith's hat as he fumbles around, unable to contain his feelings for her. Not quite dramatic as this scene, but the hat fumbling continues later in the film as Smith expresses romantic feelings.

Another detail I adore: Smith's 5 o'clock shadow that appears near the end of the filibuster. *mic drop*

Story & Acting

So what has made me realize that I'm not a Frank Capra fan is that his films are too happy. Is that such a thing? I don't consider myself an pessimistic person, but parts of the movie were so cheesy. I'm glad I watched It's a Wonderful Life first, knowing he is a bit of a cornball, but I couldn't help but cringe when Senate-henchmen were injuring children and Smith's general positivity & naivety. Although I loved watching the movie, perhaps I don't agree with the interpretation of the message? I do believe we can make great changes in America, but Smith is such an unrealistic character that I cannot imagine surviving our government.

What's not to love about Jean Arthur??

Apparently it took a while for Capra to find a someone to buy Mr. Smith Goes to Washington and it also received poor reception from politicians and journalists alike. During pre-screenings they would complain that the film portrayed them as villains and crooks. With the current midterm elections, this film couldn't have been re-released through Fathom Events at a more perfect time because it does show how awful 99.9% of our politicians are. An older couple who sat a few rows ahead of me in the empty theatre commented, "We really wish more people showed. This movie is too real."

Aside from my issues with the film feeling too unrealistic, there's an all-star cast. I am a huge Jimmy Stewart fan, but Jean Arthur steals the screen. She is such a strong female lead and well-respected character for her career and intelligence. Not to mention, she's a beauty with such a cute, croaky voice and a strong fashion sense. Arthur can go one scene as a powerful person into another as the comedic centerpiece. Hands down, best character.

To not dismiss the talent of the other actors, but I recognized nearly everyone in the film and they all felt convincing. The children were also stellar as I often giggled at well-executed jokes and lines.

CONCLUSIONARY THOUGHTS

I loved and hated It's a Wonderful Life. Capra is just too positive, but he has such great art direction and he certainly knows how to cast. I highly urge you all to give Mr. Smith Goes to Washington a chance. It's well paced and the characters are charming or equally awful in their own ways.

LATER, DWEEBS!

Loverly Liz

The Dynamic of Gender: "Claudine"

'SUP, NERDS?!

One of my favorite subgenres of manga are genderbenders. Some of the most popular within this genre: Hana-Kimi, Ouran High Host Club and Princess Jellyfish. As much as I love Ranma ½ and consider it to be a classic, I’m seeking older titles and "deep cuts" to analyze how gender is represented.

If you don't know Ranma 1/2, you don't know anime.
Stop reading this and go pick up the anime or watch
it on Hulu Plus.

Although I identify as a cisgender heterosexual female, I've always felt bothered by gender roles my whole life. Since manga is one of my favorite forms of art and entertainment, I find myself deeply invested in Japanese culture and have spent years reading about female roles. From my research, I can say that Japan is further behind the States when it comes to gender equality and the acceptance of the LGBT community. Not to say Japan is archaic by any means, but I think the way women are idealized and expected to act are not healthy either.

A Bit About Riyoko Ikeda

The first piece I'm looking at is Claudine, created by Riyoko Ikeda. Ikeda is famously known for The Rose of Versailles. What started as a manga about a girl raised as man has spurred into both an anime and many, many musicals. The cool part about the musicals is that they have been performed by the Takarazuka Revue, an organization composed of all-female performance troupes.

I wanna watch Rose so badly...
it's just as pretty looking as Claudine.

Claudine is significant because it is one of the first transgender manga, published in 1978. The 1970s marks an era for early yaoi and yuri manga, but it wasn't until the 1990s that homosexual manga became mainstream.

Claudine

Taking place in early 20th century France, the namesake of the story, Claudine, was born a female but always felt strongly male since a young age. He spends a lot of time correcting family, friends and the village that he is male-- no semblance of a woman in the way he speaks, acts and holds himself.

No one but his classmate Rosemarie believes in Claudine's identification as a male. However he is never fond of Rosemarie, no matter how deeply she loves him. She only seems to cause him trouble. Claudine is both incredibly popular and bright, but his mother takes him to a therapist as an effort to "correct" her daughter.

There are three major romantic arcs to the story. Claudine first falls in love with a young, live-in maid when he's 15 years old. The two become friends and Claudine comforts the girl with a kiss after she receives the news of her father's death. Unfortunately his mother walks in on this moment and quickly sends the girl back to her village.

A few years later he falls in love with a librarian, an unmarried woman. The two become close, but she rejects his confession because Claudine is a "girl." Unfortunately due to drama and confusion, the librarian's brother kills her and Claudine's father, something I'll further detail in the next section. Rosemarie is partial to blame for this disaster.

Claudine's third and most pivotal love interest, Sirene, met a few times in the past and they reunite in college. Sirene convinces her family to allow her to live with her "friend Claudine", but they are more than just friendly. These secret lovers are content until Claudine's brother asks Sirene out. Sirene pursues his brother.

Feeling betrayed, Claudine makes a final attempt at romance and asks Sirene to choose him or his brother. The story ends in Claudine's suicide.

Opinion & Analysis

Overall I liked Claudine, but I think it suffers due to its brevity. It's about 100 pages and I would have loved to see more development with each love interest. I hate to chastise the manga for this reason, but the fact remains a transgender story was published during a time this theme was few and far between.

What I like about Claudine is that it feels realistic. By no means can I say I relate to someone who is transgender, I've witnessed and heard about events similar to those seen in the story.

The lack of understanding is well captured throughout the narrative, but I found it interesting that Claudine continued to reject Rosemarie, even though she is the most accepting of his identity. I think Claudine dislikes her because he feels treated like a mere token. He says, "I'm not interested in being a spectacle" to Rosemarie when she invites him to her birthday party early on. Claudine learns she has a crush on him and that she bragged they were dating to all her girlfriends.

Claudine's first romance is a display of innocent love, which establishes his liking of women. When he crushes on the librarian, the relationship is very one-sided and he doesn't confess until provoked by the librarian's brother. The librarian never took the relationship past friendship and this particular rejection was hard to read. I've seen plenty of homosexual or trans friends develop a crush on someone who could never reciprocate romantic feelings due to incompatible orientation.

The librarian's brother is not a great character, but is interestingly the lover of Claudine's father. I was mildly confused and couldn't well predict this plot. Skimming over the first few pages, there is brief mention that his father didn't spend much time dating and reluctantly married, which lightly hints he is gay.

I do like the idea of tying sexual orientation between Claudine and his father. From the beginning, the manga emphasizes the stark similarities between the two while explaining that Claudine's brothers take after their mother. I wish Ikeda had more time to set up the complex issues and relationships around the father's homosexuality to develop a better subplot.

The romance with Sirene is incredibly frustrating because I totally see her as the girl who "experimented in college." The fact she would even doubt her feelings for Claudine is selfish since she probably just used him as an excuse to escape a cloying family-life. I wouldn't consider Claudine's brother traitorous because he never knew the two had a thing going on, but Sirene should have ended her romantic relationship with Claudine sooner than hide her affections for his brother.

Claudine gives Sirene an ultimatum which is a giveaway to him pondering suicide. Quite sad considering that suicide rates are higher for sexual minorities. To no surprise, Claudine gives up because nobody can truly love and celebrate him the way he needs to be. I'm glad the therapist accepts Claudine's identity during the final pages, but it's still an incredibly dissatisfying ending.

Conclusionary Notes

Unrelated to gender analysis, Claudine is extremely stylish, oozing with beautiful shoujo eyes and details. I've wanted to delve into Ikeda's stories for a while now. I'm glad I picked up this short manga since I got a lot out of it. Ready for more!

If you have any genderbend manga suggestions, please comment below or message me on my new FaceBook account. Please please please spread word, share this blog and like my page! I have a few more manga to discuss in future entries of The Dynamic of Gender, but I am open to suggestions.

Did you enjoy Claudine? What points do you agree or disagree with me about? Do you think Claudine was foolish at any point during her romances? Should she have given Rosemarie a chance?

LATER, DWEEBS!

Loverly Liz